Written piece
i feel the spirit of you
Kevanté Cash
Bahamas
About this piece
I see the threads of my grandmother's family worries passing down to my mother then to me. I use imagery of the "uncertain times" of 2020 as background knowledge to tell the story of how the worries try to keep me up at night; but then, I remember my grandmother's wisdom.
i feel the spirit of you between the hours of
wake and sleep
you creep in on me like
grey and salmon skies
creeping in
on the blue
your voice a small black bird
steadily swooping over
buildings and trees
and cranes and things
we forgot were
blocking our view
of twilight
before time slowed down
i miss you Grandmother
through the aches of sleep
where thoughts of
dwindling money
family business failing
haunt me
i lie awake
wrestling breath and these
thin white walls
caving in on this Mancunian dwelling
thinking of your prayers
that brought me here
but what good is the British dream
without a grandmother
to call back home
and tell all about it
what good is moving
miles and miles away
as the first grandchild
to achieve the dreams you couldn’t
i carry your prayers in my spine
the place you held the most pain
because love for your husband
children and grandchildren
burdened your desire
to sit still
i think of you
in every stretch
pull and tug of this world
and the wisdom you’d offer:
(italicized) na child, you mustn’t hurt ya head.
you may not understand it now, but Jesus knows best. (italicized)