Written piece
Becoming Her
Ithabeleng Khang
Lesotho
About this piece
This is a poem I had written inspired by my life story. It's generally a poem about me, of the scared little me finding her way to life, just hoping and taking it one step at a time and finding courage along the way until she or I finally am able to come out of my shell.
Becoming Her
Remembering her the (broken)
Mother abandoned, lost, broken in her own skin
Her world destroyed, shaken, shattered
Her life weary, damaged, scripted
Woman! You continue to give much yet much is expected still,
You continue to slave hard wearing your heart on your face,
ever so understanding, rapped in sorrow, unmistakable pain
Joy is the mask you wear too well when the world is not watching
Traditional woman! Head bowed down in respect and dignity,
Wish the world could carry your truth as you do your dignity- but... even they do not know your real truth
In the beginning I was her woman, broken! No boundaries, no convictions just defeat
I swallowed their words like poison. Called it truth, called it mercy,
Let them carve me smaller and smaller until I had forgotten who I am
For far too long I had slumbered on their deceit,
On the thought that I'm like her mother! Not good enough, not beautiful enough, not worthy of the lineage that I carry.
The world thought it could define me, control me, contain me, detain me
Becoming Her (the awakened)
In the outskirts of darkness I am her
The lone stranger, Woman! ready, determined... crafted with a new cloth, soaked in rich new wine skins- not the good woman scriptures often talk about, nor the bread and butter her family enjoyed- but...woman, undefeated, unrestrained
Everyday I do one thing that terrifies me - not because I am fearless but because I have found new courage
I'm done with the what ifs and not enough
No more crying, no more uncertainty
Breath by breath I am finally breaking free- shedding skins from my past misfortunes
I am learning, learning that strength is not the absence of trembling, but the choice to stand while still shaking,
That failure is not the enemy- but my silence is
Finding Her ( the claiming)
I see her! Woman, whole, perfect
She speaks and the room shifts to listen- small shifts, little strides, nudges in the right direction
She dreams and the sky makes room for her, first a step taken, then a word spoken
This is me! Unfiltered, un diminished, unafraid-
Unafraid of taking up space, of wanting much more, of being too much to them who offer too little
I stand as evidence of my truth,
Pursue my aspirations even when the path darknes
I am her! I have always been her
Woman! Once buried but now I blossom.